Yes, that is my cup of tea. |
I have been diluting myself into thinking that it is easier to be a gay teen in our country. I have insulated my world and surrounded myself with r radical fairies, fags, dikes, sex pots, bi-serious queers, lezzies and trans folk. People at my work place and in my friends and family circles have come out to me personally and I personally came out out to my mom. It went something like this, "I'm a gay boy on the inside, mom. Didn't you know?" This was the middle of college, I think.
My story is a lot less dramatic then it could be. I knew I was gay because everybody told me I was. In fact the entire bus once chanted "Erin's gay" on repeat when I was coming home from school in kindergarten. I cried the whole time and remember thinking that I wanted to be dead. What really hurt me most was the fact that my bus driver, with whom I had a loving and friendly rapport, did not defend me. Despite the volume of their group hating, she didn't think it was her responsibility to rise to my aid. She failed me just as we are falling our children today.
Now, I'm not gay. But I am queer and this is only one story out of many I could share about my experiences growing up in the wrong body. In truth, not being able to be in the cub scouts and the various other minor indignities I suffered are all at once nothing when compared with having your arm broken for wanting to be on the cheer-leading squad, or your town being so disgusted with you wanting to take your girlfriend to the prom that they hold a separate one in secret. REMEMBER: These are just the stories we hear about. Consider also, that there have been a brash of young suicides lately that have nearly cut my insides out. I carry the pain, not only for the children who felt death was the only escape, but also for their survivors who will surely blame themselves.
Now, I'm not gay. But I am queer and this is only one story out of many I could share about my experiences growing up in the wrong body. In truth, not being able to be in the cub scouts and the various other minor indignities I suffered are all at once nothing when compared with having your arm broken for wanting to be on the cheer-leading squad, or your town being so disgusted with you wanting to take your girlfriend to the prom that they hold a separate one in secret. REMEMBER: These are just the stories we hear about. Consider also, that there have been a brash of young suicides lately that have nearly cut my insides out. I carry the pain, not only for the children who felt death was the only escape, but also for their survivors who will surely blame themselves.
I've always thought adults took themselves too seriously when they said words like bullying or still worse "cyber bullying" but lets face it, young people can be wicked mean. We need more allies like Will Phillips, a young man who refuses to say the pledge of allegiance until all people in our country do have liberty and justice. Examples like that make tears of pride come to my eyes. (It's like watching MILK, all over again) And I want to believe that minds will change, that people will stop being so scared. NF: Having a gay roommate at college does not mean that your roommate is going to hit on you. You're just not that hot. Sorry.
I have many angry words I could share for those who use hate speech, and those who don't defend against it. It is not about being politically correct and it never has been. Its about respecting each person's individual nature and their right to enjoy a life free of other people's insecurities being thrust back at them. That is why I am telling you that I am gender queer...I mean, like if you didn't figure it out on your own...because as I read today in my facebook feed,
"Being visible saves people. If I can be open and proud of who I am, that is an invitation for anyone and everyone to be proud of who they are. These kids don't have to believe that they are alone. They're not. None of us are. " OP:
I may change the body that I have someday, right now, I'm just building a different box--so someone down the line will have a chance to think outside of it.
If you are queer and would like to share your story with me, privately or publicly, I welcome the opportunity. Thank you to all the allies out there, please feel free to share also. Thank you to the secure ones who understand equality. Thank you to the folks who are actively trying to chose another phrase over "that's gay." or other derogatory speech. This is an important step to changing your views on these issues. Your sensitivity could literally save lives. From our hearts and minds must the change we wish to see in this world come. And as ever, cum as you are. Happy weekend, everybody..I need to go snuggle my partner to sleep.
Be well.
Be well.
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