Showing posts with label France. Show all posts
Showing posts with label France. Show all posts

Where are the hardships?

There are good ships and there are wood ships and there are ships that sail the sea, but the best ships are friendships and may they ever be.
Best toast ever. Toast is great but don't let it get too hard. Now hardships, those are something else.I am rereading the PDFs the Peace Corps sent me because I have to check a box that says I did that.

There are a lot of half-contemptible things in these documents. Apparently, for example--I may not drive in my host country, or while traveling to any other country where the peace corps currently has volunteers. I may ride a bike, but I may be discharged from my service if I operate one without a helmet.A lot of the documents want to prepare us for disappointment and loneliness and existential questions about not being able to communicate. It's going to be interesting experiencing those tribulations for a second time.

When we moved to France, Sebastien did not have the same linguistic handicaps that I did. He had been visiting France since his early childhood and his greatest problem with speaking is that he's too creative with words. So I'm going to do my best to be compassionate towards him and that newness even as I struggle myself. In some ways, being in a couple for Peace Corps service makes us lucky--we will have each others hard won companionship  after all. In other ways it will be more difficult, as it has been in France, as it could only be in a country with which neither party has any cultural ties.
But we will have dim sum, that's something.
I wanted to share with you a few quotes from the manual that I found particularly amusing.
"Your host families have probably even been warned that you’ll be unintentionally boorish now and then and that they shouldn’t take it personally."
So that's cool. Anytime I fly off the handle, throw the baby out with the bathwater or cry over spilt milk I can just look at my host family levelly and remind them in English, they had been warned.
Better still, there is an entire section of one manual titled: Where is the hardship?
That had these two gems:
"Doing without is part of the image and mythology of the Peace Corps, and some Volunteers associate it with success. In truth, there is no such equivalency. Even if you do have hot running water, you can still cover yourself in glory just as easily as a Volunteer who sleeps under a date palm and takes sponge baths."
TIL that some people in the Peace Corps get to sleep under date palms, and this fact apparently renders me jealous. But it's an interesting point to make. Just look at all the stuff I won't be taking into industrialized China:

Lol, just kidding. Of course I'll bring duct-tape. 

And I admit that I do find myself a bit wrapped up in the mystique of hardship (and camping.) Nobody's culture should be treated as an opportunity to camp, I actually know this but there is something excited in me that just loves to pack and be prepared and takes great pride in having expected outcomes and then encountering them. I actually prefer those things to pitching my tent in the rain or playing with magnesium and steal, trying to get a fire lit.
...but if I'm being completely honest, playing with magnesium is actually kind of worth it.
Even still, I know that China is going to be a changing experience. It would be limiting to imagine just how. But I might actually feel guilty -guilty, I say!- for not suffering enough. Graciously, the manual urges me to rest assured that I will suffer. Existentially. Possibly to the point of depression induced sickness.
"So in the meantime, don’t worry: It’s still noble work even if the shop on the corner does carry M&Ms. They’re probably stale anyway."
Talk about injustice!
I take it back, please don't.

I've been walking around realizing that I actually enjoy Spring. And it turns out I'm also really going to miss Paris.
 I feel kinda silly for saying that. But there are a million things to celebrate right on my block. How many times  in my life will I ever live near a coffee roaster again? The lady behind the counter knows how I like my beans ground. moulee pour un cafetier italien. Pas de sac. Comme d'habitude. She always says warmly before she wishes us a good sunday.

One time, I was in the mood for a burger but didn't have the dinero for Chez Jeanette so I walked into a bucher shop about two doors down  and asked them if they had any ground beef left. The butcher furrowed his brow  at me and picked up what I considered to be a good cut of meat. Feeling certain that I had mispronounced steak hachee, I tried again, very polity to say it more slowly. He just rolled his eyes and dropped the meat in the grinder.
Just like that.

There is a Pankistani man who sells ripped DVDs from on top of a box every night, right across from where all the free degustations are hosted. He's always so cordial when we talk that I actually look forward to our small intereactions.
I hope he never gets caught.

Feth, I love it here! No decent brunch places but hella good, Indian food four businesses at a time.  I can't even bring down the trash without smelling fresh mint or apples from the fruit stand below our flat. Not to mention the roasted chickens and pigs each time I step on to the balcony, in winter. A short stroll on Saturday gets you to la fontaine Saint Michel where you can manage to find kebab for 50 centimes cheeper than on my street. Or closer even, les forum des Halles if you want to spend an afternoon in the FNAC pretending you can afford a two euro pocket edition.
I have so many good memories of the canal Saint Martin. Drinking cheep german beer along the quai with Clement while he plays his guitar. By bike past the banlieue Saint Denis onward and further till the sidewalks end and the fields begin.

The Fete de la Musique. June 21st, you'll always be there. That was my main reason for coming to France that first summer in 2009--even if I was still in Madrid at the time.
I'll miss you, Summers nights taken by storm and by foot. Hearing accordion players playing non ironically from my bed.
Amazing falafel in the Marais. The best kurdish food I've ever had. A hotdog stand that juices fruits and sells bagles. Ti-punch. Seeing whole skinned rabbits along side the chickens in shop windows.
Coming back from class by velib.
And walking back to my flat with a hot baguette against my side on a crisp Autumn's eve. It's memories like these that keep me so addicted to adventuring.
Our weekend was pretty full. 
On n'a pas fait que la fête, mais comme meme.
We went to my favorite bar, Le Mauri7, on Friday night. Sebastien and I kept it light. The rest of the gang got back around 6 AM. I had to teach Saturday morning and so I wasn't trying to over do it. I'm glad I didn't either, because Saturday was beautiful and Seb and I walked all around the 12th arrondissement along the Promenade Plantee. The city has converted an old raised train line into a garden. We did the whole length, back tracked and then walked home through Bastille  and in through the Marais and back along the Seine. 
Went to a great house party last night not far from here and really enjoyed ourselves. Today I have  to update the FTP server for my class but I plan to do that from bed. It's cloudy and I just want to read. I think I borrowed a book from someone last night called Charly 9. It smells like cigarettes and rhum so I don't want to touch it today. But last night I was very exicited to start reading it.
Makes me wonder what tomorrow will bring. Likely more hardship and peace corps paperwork. But I feel existentially prepared for such an onslaught. I will face it with his hand in mine and by the grit of my teeth. I will likely also have coffee. Ground. For an Italian coffee maker. No plastic bag. Like usual.
Bonne Dimanche.
You have read this article Adventure time GIF / Bastille / Bonne Dimanche / China / France / Le Mauri7 / Marais / Paris / Peace Corps / Promenade Plantee / The Post Modern Talk-o with the title France. You can bookmark this page URL https://trendcelebrity2014.blogspot.com/2013/03/where-are-hardships.html. Thanks!

My first world problems

Things are rough all over, Ponyboy. But I think we can all agree I've got it pretty bad...














But worst of all...
Sometimes I see an animated GIF and I can't even relate to it.

Smell ya later, internet. I've got a  birthday bash to shop for ;)

Like this post? Check out other first world problem posts, over at 
The Tsaritsa Sez
You have read this article Bacon / Facebook / first world problems / France / GIF / Itunes / metro / Paris / Ponyboy / the outsiders / The Post Modern Talk-o / Travel with the title France. You can bookmark this page URL https://trendcelebrity2014.blogspot.com/2011/11/my-first-world-problems.html. Thanks!

Baby Blue Sedan.

My expired passport: highly prophetic, Captain. 

There are certain things I miss about the US, chiefly among them--Shark Week.
Speaking about weeks, it's been about one of those since I've updated, I know--weak. But I've been so terribly busy playing bureaucratic dodgeball that I haven't made the time to stop and write about it.
Firstly, I may still be in danger of deportation. And while I have had many French people reassure me that my general whiteness coupled with my obvious American-ness will make make me a much smaller target, I can't help but feeling a little sick inside at that.
I'm like, awesome, I want to live in a country where the first thing the government considers when intervening in Libya becomes a public issue is whether or not you're going to be dumped with a fresh batch of émigré.
NICE.
It has been super great here weatherwise, yesterday was in the high teens (I don't know what the équivaillent is in fahrenheit.) But on the day Sebastien and I went down to get my carte de sejour it was unusually cold. The fun part about that is we were asked to wait in line outside, for over an hour because we were informed the waiting room was filled to capacity. We had our paper work in order: a copy of our marriage license, our family book, several recent passport photos, a bill, a buy, a justicatif, the physical ID of my landlord, a certified and recent copy of my birth certificate and both of our passports.  
When we were finally let indoors, not only was the waiting area empty, it wasn't even small. Also, there was about 15 minutes before they were set to close.  Seba had to do his whole song and dance, "she is my wife, yes I am American as well, but I am also french..." They always smile like, you're not actually French, kid, and I pretend that Americans wouldn't do the same so that I can be upset about it. 
Great news!
Turns out everything we've read on the internet is wrong.
The only way I can stay here and work legally is if I 
A) leave, return to the US and get a long stay visa, or
B) Live here illegally for three years while being married to Sebastien. 
................................So, if I break your rules for an extended period of time I am worthy of rights and respect, but if I come to the front door with all my papers in order I get all kinds of asked to leave.
Right.
I don't know what it would be like if I enrolled in classes and I don't know what it would be like if I apply at a different embassy in say, Belgium.  So I'm not going back yet.
But I already lined up two places to stay in DC if and when I must.
Thats all well and whiney, but I wanted to share a list of stuff I mean to take back with me in the empty case I'll be bringing to the States.
  1. Drugs. Tylenol because that's what I call it, bitch.
  2. Peanut butter. It's not my fault it sounds like caca in french. 
  3. Floss. I demand quality when I pick these teeth.
  4. Brown sugar. Really people, it isn't that hard. But it will be if it sits in the cupboard.
  5. Hershey's kisses. Look, not all chocolate needs to be swiss.
  6. Chips for Sebastien's totally amazing and effin hilarious new blog
  7. My preferred deodorant. Its so hard to say good bye to yesterday. 
  8. VERMONT maple syrup. France, Canada is ripping you off. 
  9.  REI socks. I pretty much have exactly two pairs, which I wear every day. Sorry.
  10. O.G. Coca cola. High fructose corn syrup, I'm coming home!
Quit trying to tear us apart, France! 

Like I said, I have no idea when, because shit is hella expensive and it will only really make sense ( in Sebastien's mind)  for me to get the paper work done if he has a job. Plus, I'd have to go it alone and it could last up to a month. So for now it's cash in cafes for me, encore.
Things have been dope otherwise. Parties, bars and jogging are dominating my life. Lots of pictures, lots of new things to cook. (Ever put quail eggs in your salad? Cost me less then a six pack for 18 of them suckers.) Met up with Tom from Tbr, he didn't even chop me up, and keep me in his freezer. (Which was a small let down because I've never been to the UK.)
My students are cool, even if one of them just failed an exam.  I'm like, damn kid, do you not want to hang out with your new best friend Erin?  Fuckin, get it together or you can't candy as soon as your mom leaves, anymore.

The band thing was pleasant, we're planning to get together again next week. We're calling it Funemployment.  Maybe I'll break you off a little piece of that.
Moving on, do you guys dig my jessica rabbit boobs in that there photo? MYSPACE, damn. It's ok, I never wanted to be in the Senate.  Personally I could stare at Sebastien's half closed eyes in that shot all night. Sometimes I really don't want anybody else. When I think about him I touch uh, him, actually. 
Gotta say, even if I have to leave tomorrow and never come back I've learned so many great words in French. I can speak with ease if the subject is known to me and I've been told my accent is cute. Awesome, I didn't know that worked in reverse.  I'm reading a good book and I'm writing a story worth taking my time with. I'll post it when it's done. I also promise to video blog soon. Swearzies.

Take this and win the internets with it. It is my Gif to you.
Well, teamers, that's about all we have today from cape Erin. It is now my intention to play video games for several hours. I might also be glib. I haven't as yet decided. I'll let you know, but I'll be shallow about it, if I do. And crass. I will also be quite crass, indeed.
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Video Blog TRIP

Sebastien and I just got back from a 10 day trip visiting family and seeing friends. Did we fight alot? Meh, only at the end. Here is the baby our make-up sex resulted in. Such a little angel!
Also, I made a video blog!!!


We leave for France in 10 days, OH JOY!
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Sea glass and ashes

Sorry I haven't been writing love letters to you, my dearest internet.
I've been pretty busy editing wikipedia. No that's silly, I've just been practicing my mantra. Just kidding, I've been indulging in a most engaging tryst.
Sigh.
Or, visiting family--which-ev.
Back to trysts though, I am really good at making out, just the other night I said, "One person in this bed thinks I kiss spectacularly, lets see if we can't make that two..." AND WE DID.
My fortune cookie tonight said, Worry not that no one knows of you; seek to be worth knowing.
(IN BED)
It's an extended metaphor people, roll with it.

We are traveling around the Midwest and New England until the 19th. I expect to meet up with a lot of folks back east but won't go into where or with whom because I don't want to regret it if it doesn't happen or over hype what would be cool. I am not totally against making plans, I let everyone know my dates of arrival and departure, even set up some rendezs, but pinning my hopes to my sleeves can leave me shirtless and cold.

We bought our plane tickets for France, we leave on December 1st. I'm on the last leg of my collection of books in english. Tragic how I am unable to reduce their volume without being a douchbag with a Kindle. Also, and you can be helpful here, I have no idea which clothes or boots to take.
Do I play up....

My prodrobe                 
My brodrobe 
       
                                                                                                                           My snowdrobe

There can be only one highlander. Choose wisely.

Sebastien and I have been working very well as a team and visiting his parents always feels like a honeymoon for me. Tonight the power went out. Talk about first world problems I kept reaching for the desk lamp as I noodled on the piano. I hope everything goes smoothly in Mass and things wrap up in DC as best they can. I will be 28 on Friday, a nice even number. I appreciate balance, unlike some people.
Ahem.
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The Quiet American

The Quiet American

“Well, some of them are really, reallly rude.”
The sudden loud English breaks my reverie. I’m in Paris, and I was staring off into the bottle-dotted depths of the Seine outside of the sort of hostel known for housing loud Americans, Aussies and any other twenty-something who honestly believes they’re “traveling” and not just on holiday. The bar inside is decked out in colorful plastic furniture with clean chrome lines and crushed velvet accents. The music they are blast-casting out here on to the patio is bassy and basic but the waves of the river, and all the rubbished pooled at the base of a nearby bridge, move out of sync.
“Like, I took a train once between San Francisco and LA and, you know, it’s like a five hour ride.”
“Rhite, rhite…” another man tries, in heavily accented English.
             “And this girl was putting on makeup—literally, the entire time!”
“Oh vov.”
“I think her tits were fake too. It was brilliant.”
The Englishman’s head is shaven and he is wide enough to play rugby, with a huge yellow Nike swoosh plastered across his red tee shirt and a devil crest on his left sleeve.
I cringe and shift. In my experience, Manchester United fans are the Yankee fans of the football world. His friend by contrast is slighter, with shaggy brown hair, a diamond earring and an endless sort of summer tan. His shirt is teal, without writing; he keeps twisting his facial hair up close to his chin. They didn’t come here together, and they won’t be taking the same tours in the morning. For now, it is enough to simply laugh and smoke with a stranger in a strange land. I’m down wind, but they don’t notice.
“I fink da ting viv da States es dey are da best in da voard and sometime dey act may-bee better, like better den us?”
“Well, it’s like if they are the most powerful nation in the world, you’d expect them to be best at everything,” the native speaker interprets.
“Yace, but al-so dey is arro—arrogant?”
“Quite right. They think they can just go over to Iraq, or wherever else really, and take whatever they want.” He drinks deeply from his pint, gulping revoltingly.
“Yace and I see dis youtube vid-yo, and dey are askin American to point to Irak and, and dey don’t!”
They laugh again.
I make up a wide range of angry excuses in my head for why the dumbest people in my country always stop to talk to camera crews. But when I can’t make any of them stick, I go back to resenting their cigarette smoke.
“Well it goes back to what I was saying before, with that woman on the train. I said to her, ‘Excuse me, I think you’re in my seat’, and she said, ‘I paid for a ticket too!’ Just like that, went right back to putting on her makeup! Can you believe it?”
“Yace, yace. And, and I see also dis vid-yo vere dey ask American vere are da con-contry vut start vid ‘U’ and dey know only one!”
“Yeah, there are loads of them, aren’t there? Uganda…”
“Ukraine.” He says with a nod of certainty.
“Uruguay. Loads of them…”
You forgot the United Arab Emirate, dickwad. I tell myself sulkily.
“Yace, yace, lohdz.” The chrome on his red plastic chair scrapes the new concrete as he rises, pulling up his belted pants as he goes. “I get nother beer. You vant?”
The first waves his hand away. I find I am looking down at the menu—a
boilerplate selection of drinks and snacks. I’m trying to calm down; to be fair. It isn’t without reason that these stereotypes of my countrymen exist, and it isn’t as though I didn’t just make assumptions about that prick based on his tee shirt.
But America is like my mother. Now, my mother is crazy, I know that. My saying that isn’t based on a two week vacation where I met her for the first time, or something she posted on Youtube. I’m not the fighting type—all I’m saying is, if you’re gunna criticize her, you better be ready to finish what you start.
Je demande, “Excuse moi, tu a bu cette bier?” I was even kind enough to point at his empty bottle.
“Um pardon, uh sorry, oh beer, oh yes! Yeah, this beer!”
“Sa bier.”
“Yes, this beer, uh, oui!”
“Alore, c’est bien?”
“Bien? Oh um, yeah, uh oui.” Lots of head nodding and then, “Alright.” Plus his best international, “thumbs-up.”
“Mais, bon. La vue de la Sein c’est tres agreeable, non?”
“Um, sorry ?”
“You don’t speak French?” I ask in a contrived half-accent. The way his eyes light up, I surmise he just plain doesn’t speak with women.
“Oh um, yes, ah, a little,” he says in English, pantomiming a pinch.
“En fait, tu ne parles pas en Francais?” I say, shaking my head, again guiding him to an answer I will accept.
“Um, no, not really well, I mean... no, nah.” He shrugs up his shoulders self consciously.
“Its just interesting to me,” I say, fully American, “I heard you talking about the States, but you speak no French.”
Quick enough he catches on.
“Fair point.” He smiles down at his ashtray, finally extinguishing his fag.
“Et tu habites ou?”
”Uh, come again?” he asks, laughing. 
“Oh, sorry—I forgot. You live where?”
“Oh, England,” he says, his coffee colored teeth proud.
“That’s very interesting. And your friend, where was he from?”
“Oh, him? Ukraine. He’ll be back, um…. Would you like a beer?”
“No thank you. La bier ici, c’est tres cher pour moi.” After a blank look, “Too expensive.”
“Oh. Right.”
“You know it’s very interesting, I’ve had a hard time finding people to practice my French with. But everyone speaks English.”
He laughs a little.
“I don’t think I would go to a country where I wasn’t willing to speak the language. I mean, imagine coming all the way to Paris and not be able to comment on the loveliness of the river.”
“You think it’s lovely, do you?”
“Oh yes, it’s quite pleasant at night. People bring bottles of wine and blankets and play Pétanque, and—“
“Play what?”
”Um, it’s rather like lawn bowling.”
“Oh. I hadn’t noticed. How long have you been here?”
“Don’t know. Bout’ three days, I guess. I haven’t been staying here of course. But you can get une demi for only 2 euros down there at that pub, too.” I say pointing at a row of buildings not 50 meters off. “It’s all very charming.”
“Sorry, a demi what?”
“A beer, you know, une demi. It’s just the cheep stuff. But you could pay what you’re paying here for three Kronenbourgs down there. How long have you been here?”
“Oh, I don’t know... a week. I leave in the morning,” he adds, altogether too hopefully. When I don’t smile, he goes on, “But you, you’ve only been here three days have you? Brilliant. And you saw this all in a guide book, then?”
“Guidebook? Heh, I left that paper weight in Spain. Enjoy your drink.”
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To live is the only adventure you have left

You may not know this about me, but all my great adventures and their subsequent trails have been blazed thanks to metaphorical arrows of  reckless and ill-informed ideas, slung blindfoldedly at gas covered piles of flammable--in the dead of darkest night. For clarification, see below
Grand adventures and the circumstances which beget them:
  • Talking a lot while drunk
  • The result of an argument
  • Song lyrics
  • Passing whim    
It follows therefore that at the honest onset of adventures, and I don't mean the fun packing and dreaming part. No the honest onset folks: the tickets bought, my ass is in the air or on the train; in the back of a car, or van....nervous as hell in a gypsy cab or thanks to my friend Mr thumb, riding shotgun in Optimus Prime's face--in short, it's real. It's honest. It has just begun.
Figure B





Figure A
This is is the moment when Figure A becomes Figure B
You see, Figure A represents the time and place in the story where my hair looks sweet, and my face is that perfect shade of arrogant that makes people say, "Damn, she should really consider running in a local election." Whereas Figure B represents the instant where I realize I haven't actually thought things through. There is no thought bubble there (fittingly) but you can tell I'm thinking, "In the name of all things holy, how the fuck did I get myself into this mess?" You should try that one sometimes, it's way weightier than "Omg." 
Now, before you get all kinds of judgy mc f.u. on me, let me state for the record, that the not thinking things through is actually a failsafe, my friends. 
By doing so I have no expectations. So I get there and a van full of Italian says, "Hey you want ride up mountain?" and I'm all, "grazie" Or I've got this big heavy box and it's late and cold and this DC dude is like, "Have you two heard of Gypsy cabs?"  
         And        I        think        to        myself,        what        a        wonderful        world.

No expectations has lead to some classic moments in my life, great conversations and as of yet, resulted in exactly no deaths. I've slept under a boardwalk on the Jersey shore and even commandeered a vehicle in long-beach California. If that wasn't cool enough, I've done loads of other shit I don't even feel like bragging about. All great adventures however, have started with foolishness and not resulted in death. So I think I may be on to something here.


Take college as an example:
I was scared of college. 5 of my six older siblings were high school dropouts. One of my sisters got into college on a sports scholarship and partied her way into full time work. So my high school guidance councilor got me into a two year school. Which, as it turns out was way too easy for me if I am to be judge by my grades. I was sick of living in Boston and my favorite professor at the time made me apply to Antioch College in fuckin, east Guam Ohio--and she totally spoon fed me. All I did was write down my social, she did the whole effin thing. I don't even go to see the college they just sent me a tee shirt in the mail which matched my anti-sports bias at the time and I lazily accepted their acceptance. Naturally, the night I showed up to meet my hall advisor, who was drunk, stoned and smoking, I thought to myself, "I've made a terrible mistake." But it all worked out, like it ought. And I learned a bunch of cool shit. So I'm happy.

I'm saying all this because I have prematurely come to the figure B phase of getting married and leaving the country. Its not the married or the leaving. Its the state recognizing it as legal, the country of France recognizing it as legal, the cake, flowers, aunts, location and other stuff i never wanted to focus on. The really good parts are still really good. So many of my awesome friends are going to come here and help me overeat all over town! I love the person I have chosen as my mate, I think we're well mated and he's actually my mate..in the British sense (and the biblical).  But I also need to find work and that means that I also need to work on that. We just had a house guest for the week and I am really hoping that this next week is my week to kick things into real-time-work-ethic-mode. For now though, I think I'll go down to my favorite book store, slurp coffees and wait for Sebastien to be finished with son travail, 
So that we can do the things that make us feel good, when we're alone together.
And obviously, I meant sex.
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Falling and the Fells


In a world where logic reigned supreme, two constants when at odds would hold each other in a stalemated state of limbo. Such as, a cat whom by nature always lands on its feet, when paired with a buttered piece of toast, which by nature always lands butter side down, would have no choice but to hover above the earth, if tied to the back of the aforementioned and for our purrrrrposes,  falling cat.
File:Flying cat.jpg
Mathematical proof:
The diagram at right shows that FBT is the force exerted by the butter so that it falls down, and FC are the forces the cat's feet exert so that it doesn't break its ass when falling. The following equation:
math
Such that Θ = π + 3μ√2 gives us that when:
math
The cat defies gravity.

I think of this well worn trope because I've always fancied myself that cat who never lands on my back. Mais, seemingly,  I may have tied a frickin piece of powdered toast-man there just to make things good and hard(ish)..


Stated plainly:
Summer school finished on Friday and I will collect one final paycheck before I am unemployed. This small personal tragedy was embarked upon willingly so that I could move to a different country. Howevski, now that Sebastien has a job he is less than excited to move before his contract ends in October. Don't ask me why, it seems job title related. And then there are all the kids I have influenced, guided and adored who will no longer lend their smiles and their light. But I can't live my life as a piece of their furniture, taken for granted, my weekends belonging to them and to the paper work they create.
Consider also that I don't have a mortgage, I don't have a car. I don't have debt. Why wouldn't I travel when I have someone to share the road with? Uh, in October...did I mention that he doesn't want to leave until October?
Our lease is up then, at least.
I may go ahead of him to France but then I have to handle all the hard parts myself and still don't get to join the mile high club.
>:(
There would be some good in that too though,  a couple months without him means sink or swim French times. Plus, I will get to hang out with this hardcore band wherein both the drummer and the guitarist are bed worthy, not to mention a weekend or two in the mountains with that little tasty I left in Lyon without tasting.  These last facts are note worthy only because I will by then be married....
But not in the stupid way you'll probably get married some day where you don't get to bed other meritorious parties. Ha ha, suckers.
I will still miss him terribly in that hard-rooted poetic way that many rings of my tree are comprised of. (See also, Figure 1)
Figure 1

 I'd get a lot of writing done, though.

I tell ya, the internet
It doesn't seem to be easy for me to express the loss I am encountering with my students. I put so much of my best into their lives and now all I can do is hope for them and who they will become. I will never see them again. I know it. We will move in different worlds for the rest of our lives. Not unlike others who have shared my life before. Its cuz I'm always getting curious and leaving town, that's how come.

Despite all the mistakes I've made, all the gaps I've left--I hope I have inspired critical and creative thinking, a love for reading and a fascination with math. The truth and folly of history and the wizardry of science was ours to explore through songs, simulations and the various worksheets I was forced to give you grades on. Every moment was teachable and I'd be a fool to believe I was the only teacher.






See what I mean? Dicks on a squid; who knew there were so many?
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