Rockbottom Sweetheart

 Dear America,
Have you ever found yourself throwing up your hands and yellin, "Screw this gene pool, I'm movin to Canada!" ? Well good luck.
 Its fucking hard moving to anywhere east of obvious. (or west of it, for that matter.) Now, I'm a lady of letters, but I know when I'm out classed. I therefore acquiesces to  the giants in the field, ninja what they know,  and know how to say it better. (Most humbly)
The hitchhikers guide to the galaxy had this to say about France, inoffensif, la plupart du temps. But when I quarried encyclopedia intergalatica on the matter of immigration it had THIS to say. So fuvk them, I asked Jeeves
Which led to this:

If you are an American and plan to visit for 90 days or more for any reason, you need a visa. If you plan to work, even if it's just for a month, you need one. If you are a journalist on assignment in France or hold a diplomatic passport, no matter the length of your visit, you need one.

Now you might not know this about me but I graduated both college and high school thanks to my dear friend, the loophole. I also hardly plan things, trusting instead that the Force will be with me. So why stop at schooling? Papers? We don't need no stinkin papers. What is this AZ?  And yet, America the list of requirements go on and on!

To apply, be sure you have the following:

• Passport signed and valid 3 months after the last day of stay.
• Four long stay visa application forms by applicant signed and legibly filled out. Print in black. Indicate your phone numbers and e-mail.
• At least five recent passport size photographs (4 glued on the forms).
• A proof of resident status in the country where you are applying.
• A proof of employment in the country where you are applying
• Financial guarantee such as:
  
  
  • Letter from your bank showing that you have sufficient means of support to live in France.
  • Justification of retirement pensions or regular incomes
  • A notarized declaration of your sponsor stating that he/she will be responsible for all your expenses and a proof of his/her financial means. (+ 3 copies).
• Proof of medical insurance with coverage valid in France (+ 3 copies). Letter from the insurance compagny only.
• A non-criminal record certificate to be obtained at the police's office of the city of residence (+ 3 copies). I would recommend obtaining this record as early as possible, since some police stations take a few weeks to issue the record.
• A note, dated and signed by the applicant, stating that he/she does not intend to have in France a paid professional activity which requires a work permit.
  
• For the spouse of a French citizen, the "livret de famille" or a copy of the French marriage license, or the official French transcript of the marriage license when the marriage took place out of France. The French citizen must prove his/her nationality. Note that an American citizen spouse of a French citizen wishing to live in France does not need a visa. He or she must apply directly for a residency card once in France (with the "livret de famille").
• Processing fee: payment by credit card (Visa, Mastercard) (especially for files sent by mail) or money-order made out to "Consulate general of France" or certified checks. Cash is accepted only if you apply in person. No personal checks. 

I can haz a jackpot?

So that's it. Get married to a French citizen.  Preferably one whom looks great in glasses, is a classically trained pianist, puts neo-cons in there place, loves reading to me in bed and knows how to kick it to me horizontally. ( Eat your heart out, Shakespeare.)

Settled: we're getting hitched. I won't say where or when cuz I can't invite you all. Yer not pokemon! But it will be before we move to France. Thankfully all roads lead to Rome, cuz there are still way too many balls up in the air to call the game just yetski.  I'll explain what I mean, once I know what I mean. All that about 20/20 and lookin past yer ass.
Instead, content yourself with this short vid I shot on my cannon g 10 on Sebastien's birthday.


I can't help it, America. Sometimes all the ducks are in a row. (and then I cook other tasty things in their fat) I  less than three this man-o-mine. I've never really loved anything besides music before this, maybe writing. But those are just arms on my octopus, extensions of my self. Oh, sure I've lusted after the best of them. But I don't expect another glove to trust my hand so well. And I  know I won't trust my hand to another glove.

I hope you mutha truckahs are clickin these links. They sometimes take me several minutes to steal.

Forgive me, they were so sweet, and so cold.
                           
                 -Quoth the server, 404.

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